this is irritating

dad and mum keep insisting that I should go seek for medical review cos of my knee

and mum thinks the I wanna go into ns WITHOUT the prospect of getting a lower pes is bcos I wanna slim down

WHAT THE FUCK

I WANNA GET INTO NS TO ESCAPE FROM THE BOTH OF U TEMME

STOP BEING SO OVER PROTECTIVE

It's choking me, it's drowning me, it's burying me alive

I can't breathe at all

AT ALL






It's amazing how mum always manages to fluff up a flame of anger inside me with her words

Way too amazing, really

I know that she care, but after 20 years, why hasn't she noticed that I crumble under criticisms and flourish under praise?

Mum, I longed for a word of praise from you. It has been such a long time since you said it to me.


I still remember, when I was in pri 3, I drew a piece of drawing. Ok, I thought that it looked like crap, but when I showed it to her, she smiled at me and said 'Very well done!'



These scenes are becoming so rare, I longed for a word of praise from you, but no matter how I tried, you are always criticizing. So much that I gave up eventually, and it was you who made me believe that it is almost impossible to talk between us.

An invisible wall has formed

We are from 2 different worlds, 2 different eras

and we have 2 different ways of thinking, 2 different religions, wait, I don't even have a religion anymore

I just want to escape from this house

out of your reach

out of your control

out of your sight

but deep inside, I still love you and I know you do love me too

please, praise me for every right thing that I do, and see the goodness in me, for your encouragement is what I need to propel me further in life

don't make me dislike you, please







-a silent prayer-