It took so many years just to understand myself a little

Why? Some may ask...

Because of the words:
No, you can't do it
No, it's impossible
No..etc etc

Throughout my life (from..say...sec sch till now), I've been hearing words like:
You're stupid
You think that you're very smart? NO
Useless!
Can't do anything right



Hah, sad life eh?

All from a single person: Mum


And just because she's my parent, and I gave my parents my ultimate trust, I believed in them

I've been thinking that I'm dumb since sec sch, until like around last yr....until I took an IQ test which said that I've got an IQ of 120

This also, there were people to put me down - Ys, Wilmer who said that it's normal for people to get 120 score in those IQ test and all....blah blah

I simply refuse to believe, cos I got the highest score so far there at the website - even if tell me that the website is crap now, I'll still believe that I'm smart






We argued again just now...haix, she's pissed cos I started learning driving without booking a test date

Really don't understand what's her problem, the test date can be booked anytime, so..what's wrong?

And she called me a worm

A worm, can you believe it? She just called her son a worm, wow, that's amazing

I asked my question to her, I went:

'Aren't parents supposed to give their child hope? What you're doing now, and what you've been doing for the past years are of the opposite - you've crushed them, I've been thinking that I'm stupid since sec 1'

She went:

'You are not stupid! If you think that you can do it, you can.'

I replied:

'Then why did you call me stupid and all everytime? You are being soooo contradictory'

She went:

'Not EVERYTIME, I'm just saying it to push you'

I went:

'Pushing, is different from knocking-someone-flat-down, you crushed me instead'

She said nothing...and after a moment, she repeated that I'm not stupid

I replied:

'Yes, I know I'm smart, you didn't give me this thought, it was me, myself and I who psychoed myself to think that I'm smart, no, not you'


Gahh, don't feel like blogging anymore, sorry ppl

-out-

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